My grandpa asked me to go down into the basement to find something for him, so I’m down there looking through this pile of pipes leaning against the corner and shit looking for this old brass tube that he wanted. The light is out so I’m looking around with a flashlight in my mouth and I grab this one thing and I’m trying to feel if it’s brass. So I poke it and flick it and and stomp it on the ground listening to the sound it makes and I still can’t tell if it’s old brass or just steel. I pull it out of the pile to get a better look at it and I look down the barrel of it…..then I realize……im looking down the BARREL OF IT. It’s a fucking shotgun. Just lying there in a pile of aluminum pipes. And that’s why I needed to change my underwear.

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