I hate that there are people on YouTube who literally just have uploaded copyrighted music and placed ads on the videos and they are making thousands of dollars in ad revenue for themselves through copyright infringement.  They make bank just adding lyrics videos to copyrighted music and somehow YouTube hasn’t ripped them a new asshole yet? I hate them. And the only reason I hate them is because I’d never have the guts to do that.

Sometimes when I am reading something really exciting, I’ll find myself skipping lines to get to the good part. Just like long drawn out descriptions of things I will jump over to get me to the excitement faster. But then I feel guilty about skipping lines someone worked so hard on and I go back up and REALLY read them not just skimming like before. I don’t’ know why but I catch myself doing it often. I get to pumped for something big to happen, but then feel guilty that I’m not paying enough attention.

Game of Thrones spoiler for tonight (don’t read if you haven’t seen the episode yet)

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I hate entering passwords these days because everything has that hidden black dot encrypted password thingy and whenever I make a typo I can’t just backspace one letter and keep typing. When I can’t see the word, I can’t just backspace one letter. I have to clear it all and start over. And I don’t know why it is that way but it is. Is that just me?

My favorite show on television is Finding Bigfoot. I mean, I’ve never actually seen an episode, but I just love the fact that they have made 5 seasons of a show based on searching for a mythical creature. FIVE SEASONS. They literally made an entire season of this show without discovering even the slightest hard evidence of Bigfoot’s existence, and the network THEN thought “hmmm…they didn’t come up with anything at all….we wasted all that time and money…..let’s give them another season.” And they had that though another three times. I…….I don’t get it. It’s amazing. How is? Just?

I was in Target today and there was a table display of fedoras. I couldn’t help but feel like I have a social obligation to set it all on fire. Just burn it to the ground and run. Would they even be mad? Like I know fire is dangerous and I’m not supporting arson. I’m just saying I was weighing the respective dangers against each other and I just got the feeling that burning all the fedoras and their summer bonanza blowout sale prices would ultimately benefit society.

There are really two types of cleaning in the world: A) the helpful and effective organization of items and removal of dirt/grime/gunk, and B) stuffing shit into nooks and crannies where no one will be able to see them. I excel at the latter.

Today I found out that Lance Bass from “NSYNC” went to prom with Topanga from “Boy Meets World” and I don’t know why it’s so important to me, but it is.

I was just walking down the street and a car was driving towards me and the girl driving put her hand up but I couldn’t really see her because the sun was on my back and glaring on the windshield sooo I just thought she was waiving so I waved and smiled back and as the car got closer the angle of the sun moved and I could see now that she was only readjusting her rear-view mirror and she gave me a very uncomfortable confused looked like, “what is that mini-Gregor Clegane looking weirdo doing, do I know him or something?” and wow yup yeah that was awkward sorry I’d be uncomfortable if I saw me waiving at me too.

Do they make Swarovski Crystal dildos? Is that a thing?


what if u had an identical twin that did porn and u like went to the grocery and theyre like “omg i saw u take 3 dicks at once while wearing a turtle costume” and ur like “god dammit gary”

This is an episode of “Friends.” It has 300,000 notes and it’s just describing a popular episode of a well known sitcom. Are we allowed to do that? I want 300,000 notes. Lemme think of one.

what if u were at your brother’s wedding in London and you were so drunk and lonely that you slept with the best man who is your brothers best friend and then joey found out you slept with chandler but you made him promise not to tell anyone until rachel and phoebe found out and they didn’t know that they know we know they know haha lol woudln’t that be a crazy situation that i just totally thought of off the top of my head.

(via kanyewesticle)

Honestly one of my favorite things in the world are the names that fans come up with for the URL of their fandoms Wiki pages. Do you know what I mean? Like the “Star Wars” one is called Wookieepedia and the Game of Thrones books one is called “A Wiki of Fire and Ice.” The clever ones that fans come up with are so amusing to me.


Anonymous asked: I love your blog and think you're really funny. Just wanted to say thanks for helping take my mind off of stress and making me laugh :)

These kinds of messages mean the world to me. Sometimes hearing this sort of thing is all that keeps me going. You are more than welcome.

My neighbor who I do yard work for coerced my phone number out of me so she could call me for every dumb little thing. Normally she would have to come up to my door and knock when she needed me, which made her easy to avoid. But now that she has my number she is really pushing it. Someone ran over her mailbox a little while ago and she called me to put it back up. Okay that’s reasonable, I’m happy to help. Then there was a lightbulb that she needed changing. Well I mean you could get a stepstool or w.e but fine it will take 30 seconds to change I’ll do it. But now its getting annoying. Today she called me to ask me if it was illegal to talk on your cellphone while driving. She was calling me…while driving….to ask if it was illegal….to…do what she did… What do I look like Google? Here’s an idea SANDY: if you don’t call me while driving, then you don’t have to worry whether or not it’s legal!!


I love how in the last one he’s like, “No not today. Shake it off. You can do this. No sleepies.”

(via nankurunaisaa)